Hate Me
by Miyaka Hana
Summary: A new origin for Sakura. A look into her genius and the isolation of a prodigy raised in the time of the Uchiha massacre.


**Hate Me**

 _Beta'd by kunoichiareboss_

She looked at him, eyes focused solely on his form. She heard about what had happened to his family. She saw the anger and disdain he forwarded to everyone who bothered him. She wanted to make him happy again, she didn't want him to feel alone.

She had only ever seen and interacted to him in passing, he was a child of a well-established shinobi clan. She was a civilian, their paths shouldn't have ever crossed if it weren't for the fact that his brother would bring him to this very playground to spin on the merry-go-round. He was a much happier boy, the shell that she sees now seems so empty and devoid of light.

For whatever reason, when she saw him play with his older brother, she wanted to be just like him. She wanted to be strong like him, she wanted to feel that she had a future worthwhile. She wanted to know that her existence wasn't insignificant. Whenever she would follow them to the shinobi training grounds, she knew his older brother was aware of her presence but he would offer a kind smile while she hid in the shadows.

Sasuke's brother was so talented, she was in awe with his talent, but watching Sasuke try so hard to be the best he can, to better his brother made her feel that they were alike in that sense. She wanted to be like Ino-chan, she was so popular, pretty and she knew how to throw kunai and shuriken really well! Ino-chan wouldn't talk to her though, what purpose would she? She's from a clan, what business would she have with a regular kid like herself? She gripped on the chains of her swing tightly and clenched her jaw.

Why did she have to be born into a civilian family? Why couldn't she be a ninja too? She sighed sadly, kicking the sand beneath her feet before kicking them out to begin swinging. She kicked off, only for her to fall backwards, her hair being pulled by some unknown force. Her eyes widened when she went to turn her head.

"Let me go, please! I, I'll go away! Leave me alone!" she cried, trying to escape their grasp, only for bare knuckles to dig into the back of her head.

"Sasuke-kun would never notice a weak little peasant like you! You civilian born nobody! Why would a ninja want someone so useless?" her bully taunted. She couldn't help but cry. They were right, what could she do? Why would Sasuke-kun ever want her? She didn't come from a clan, her parents were both civilians, it was an insult to ever think someone of her position would ever impress someone of nobility. Someone of significance. She was Sakura Haruno, and like her namesake, she would eventually die.

Her tiny body was being yanked around by her hair, she cried in pain. The other girls were laughing and kicking sand onto her and into her eyes.

"Crybaby forehead!" they exclaimed. Her heart was racing, her mind following suit. What can she do? How can she get out of this? Or should she just accept this punishment and remember not to make the mistake of letting her guard down next time? She tries to cover her eyes from any more sand.

" _It will not end in their favor, should you come to power... they will cower,"_ the voice in her head frightened her into utter silence and shock.

"What is going on over here?" Sakura heard the voice of an older male. Her bully released her and the rest of the group scattered to avoid punishment. Though she had been freed, she could still feel the residual pain of her hair being yanked. She laid face down in the sand, unmoving, trying to hold back sobs. She felt so helpless, so vulnerable. Why couldn't she just go through her life without these feelings? Why couldn't she at least defend herself from these feelings? From the pain?

"Child, are you hurt? Do you need medical attention?" He lifted Sakura from the ground, she hid her face within her pink locks, avoiding any eye contact. She stiffly shook her head. She wasn't anymore hurt than she was embarrassed. Embarrassed at how stupid she had been to put herself in this situation, and how stupid she was to cry in front of her assailants. Whenever he tried to brush the strands of hair from her face, she caught a glimpse of Sasuke looking at her in pity. Had he brought the man to come to her rescue?

She wondered if she had put Sasuke on such a high pedestal that she unconsciously hoped he would come and save her from any bullies, but the idea was preposterous. He didn't even know who she was. She had never properly introduced herself first of all, and even if she had, why would he feel obliged to stop her suffering when he had his own suffering to worry about? Hoping the man would not follow her, she jumped to her feet and began to run, not caring of the calls for her to stop. Once she had found somewhere secluded she tried to relax and placed herself into a deep trance.

 _She opened her eyes to see herself, much stronger, much more confident. Ami and Kasumi had returned, they brought even more friends to surround her._

" _Come on, forehead! Show us what you've got!" they mocked her._

" _What could she even do? She's civilian!" they all laughed around her. She saw herself stand up, her head was down, but her fists clenched. Raising her head, she watched herself as her anger and determination sky rocket to protect herself._

" _I'm not afraid of you anymore! Just because my parents aren't ninja, doesn't mean I can't be one! I promise you, I will be a Kunoichi and I'll never let you hurt me again!" Once the group realized she wasn't bluffing, they all went on the offensive. Rushing to push her down and pummel her, restrain her like they had done previously, but Sakura wouldn't give them the opportunity, she will show them just the pain that she was enduring, she will make them feel her pain, with any means necessary._

 _She could feel some sort of energy fill her body, it felt like it was flowing through her veins, once they had gotten close enough, Sakura closed her eyes and screamed, only an explosion could be heard before she was brought out of her trance._

Terrified of the person who had brought her out of her trance, she hesitated to look at their face.

"Please don't hurt me, I, I promise I won't bother anyone!" she tried to hold back her tears. Pulling her arms up to her head for protection, her back against a wall.

"Sweetheart, no one is going to hurt you." The sound of a feminine voice brought Sakura at ease, at least enough to lower her guard some. At first she saw a woman with red eyes and brown hair, she looked like a teenager, and then behind her was a man.

"Are you hurt anywhere? Do you need to see a nurse?" the lady asked kindly. Sakura stayed silent, her eyes wandering between her and the male behind her.

"Is my friend making you nervous? He means no harm, he just wants to make sure you're okay sweetheart." Sakura had no reason to believe anyone is here to make sure she was okay. She's a civilian. She's not a ninja, she's a nobody. Why would anyone care about her?

"How did you find me?" she managed to say, the lady seemed slightly startled but recovered quickly. The lady got onto the ground and try to move the hair out of Sakura's face.

"My friend told me that he had found a young girl earlier but she ran away from him. He asked me to come help in case you were afraid. Thankfully I was able to find you quickly because of that genjutsu. You know what that is, right?" Sakura looked up with a look of confusion.

Noticing the girl's confusion, the dark haired woman looked to her partner who seemed equally as stumped.

"How old are you? Do you have a name sweetie?" Sakura nervously looked around for a place to run and hide, but apparently she had no way of escaping, they had found her and they were ninja. They could find her regardless of where she hid.

"I'm six..." She replied quietly, still afraid of giving out her name. The male partner seemed to say something to the lady that she couldn't quite hear. Something about prodigy, child soldier, what were those things?

"Do you live with your parents sweetie? Would you like to go back there?" She nodded her head, still looking over her back and at the male.

The lady and the man took Sakura back home. Her parents thanked the two ninjas for bringing her home safely, however the man had asked to speak to her parents without Sakura presence. Why would it make a difference? They told Sakura to go to her room, but she leaned against the door and tried to hear what was being discussed.

It was mostly quiet for several minutes, what would these ninja have to talk to her parents about? Once she heard her mother raise her voice, her sense of hearing intensified, she could hear the entire conversation now.

"This is absurd! You are suggesting a six year old child should go to school to become a murderer! I won't do it, I won't accept it!"

"Haruno-san, I understand your reservations, I am sure how this sounds from the outside looking in. We wouldn't be suggesting it, if it weren't for the fact that your daughter performed a highly skilled genjutsu not only on herself, but on an entire area of the village. We have high ranked ninja who aren't even capable of accomplishing that. Your daughter, she could be a prodigy. I had to enlist the help of my partner to disable the genjutsu. She is a trained chunin, specializing in Genjutsu, she was astounded that a six year old child had such skill in her field."

Sakura pursed her lips. What is a prodigy, exactly? Why are these ninja so bent on telling her parents that she was special? Sakura couldn't believe them, she was a civilian, she wasn't supposed to be special. Not like Sasuke-kun or Ino-chan.

"Please Haruno-san, at least think about it. We will see ourselves out. We apologize for the conflict." She heard the door slammed behind them, likely by her mother. Then followed by sobbing. She heard her father trying to soothe her mother.

"Mebuki, we don't have to do anything. Sakura is a normal child, she is a beautiful and bright child, she doesn't have to go this route, regardless of what those ninja say." Her mother would hiccup in between sobs.

"But what if they're right? What if we're only restraining the inevitable? What if... what if my child is meant to be with them? Where did we go wrong? How did she know how to do those things they spoke of?" Her father had no response. Sakura had no response herself. She had always thought of it just being a means to go to her special place and think.

"Who am I?" she asked no one in particular, but the voice that had alarmed her earlier felt the need to make a reply.

" _You are more than they could ever dream of being. You will be their bringer of death and justice. Won't that be the most perfect irony?"_

She bent down, her back against the door holding onto her head and cried softly. She didn't know what this voice was, she didn't know why it spoke such horrible things, or why it seemed to bring her some sort of comfort knowing that she would be strong enough to give her bullies a taste of their own medicine one day.

Sakura spent the next several weeks going to the public library and researching all these terms, checking out dictionaries, history books on the shinobi nations, all the different types of ninja that existed within the world. When all the resources there were exhausted, she had no other choice but to find a new archive for the information she sought.

The leaf symbol caught her eye as she was walking away. She closed her eyes; she knew what she had to do. She knew that it was especially forbidden for anyone who is not training or an active ninja to enter this building, but she had no other choice.

She walked away from the place for the time being to go home and raid her closet for anything that can be used to camouflage herself. She found an old hooded top she had from her last birthday, she knew that she would need to keep her hair covered, it was such a red target and everyone she may have crossed would know she didn't belong. Who ever heard of a pink haired ninja? Pfft.

When it seemed to have been cleared of all people, Sakura tried to focus on being silent, making no noise. She opened the door of the library and scanned the area for any signs of movement. She felt safe to move around, easing down her guard.

It was much more massive than the civilian's public library. She felt at home here, strangely enough. She found several books that caught her eye, one on Genjutsu, the two ninja seemed to be very adamant that Sakura was good at it. She wanted to see what it was all about.

Another book about the history of the village, all of the renowned shinobi as well as their leader, the Hokage, her parents told her.

The last book she found of interest had been about medical jutsu. Maybe she could learn to heal people! That would be useful so that whenever her bullies would hurt her, she wouldn't have to go to the nurse anymore. Just as she was turning to leave she heard someone coming in. Face to face with the lady ninja she had seen weeks ago. She paled, her legs shaking in fear. She immediately dropped the books down carefully backed away slowly, hoping to escape through a window.

"I'm sorry! I was going to bring them back, I promise! I, I just wanted to know... I'll leave! I won't come back!" she begged. The lady picked up the books and slowly walked toward Sakura.

She bent down and handed the books back to Sakura and smiled.

"If you were curious, you are more than free to ask. We don't want to pressure you to do anything, just be honest, okay?" Sakura held the books close to her chest and nodded her head, trying to keep any tears from escaping her eyes.

"With that being said, I'd like to commend you on bypassing security. If I hadn't noticed your chakra flare for a moment, you may have gotten in and out without any notice." Sakura cocked her head to the side at the term. The lady went to a shelf and pulled out another book labeled 'Chakra Manipulation'.

"This may help you with the rest of your studies. If you would like to return or ask for any help, you can always ask for me. My name is Kurenai." Sakura gave her a shy smile and nodded her head before scurrying away, passing the male ninja she had seen weeks ago.

"Kurenai, did you just let that child take books from the academy?" Kurenai only shrugged her shoulders.

"It seems she was curious, I'm certain she'll return them. If not, we know where she lives. No worries." The male only skeptically looked as the child ran off into the distance.

Sakura delved into the books as soon as she found a safe spot in the village. She found herself reading the books quickly, absorbing the information like a sponge. She had already gone through the book of Genjutsu and chakra manipulation. The book she was in the middle of was the one on shinobi history. She had lost track of time, she looked up to see the moon smiling down on her.

She placed a bookmark in the current spot she was reading and carried them home with her. She felt so much pride, so much happiness with having these books so close to her, the knowledge that they have given her, and the company she so desperately craved. She absent mindedly took the longest way back home, not thinking much as she grabbed onto the door knob and opened it. Before she could close the door behind her, her mother had rushed to grab her and threw her onto the couch. Her mother then went to grab the books she had been carrying.

"This is what you have been doing?! This is what you've been spending your time with? Sakura, you know better than to _think_ of this monstrosity! You know better!" her mother scolded her. Sakura stayed silent, her eyes darting to the side and away from her mother's pair. She did not want to make contact. Her eyes still glued onto the books her mother had repossessed.

"Who gave you these books? Was it that damn ninja? I will report them to the Hokage! They are not to influence any children that are not in their curriculum! They will be demoted!" Something within Sakura stirred, the lady was nice. Kurenai was too nice for this, she didn't deserve to be punished for trying to give Sakura something to read, something to research.

"No! I got them by myself!" She stood up and defended her ninja friend. Mebuki seemed shocked but angered at her daughter's proclamation.

"You couldn't have possibly gotten them without help! You best sit back down now, young lady! You will not be allowed to leave this house for the next week if you disobey me again!" her mother threatened. Sakura couldn't help but stand her ground, something telling her... there was more to her life than what her mother and father were imposing. There was more to her than the life they were trying to force upon her.

"No! I want to be a ninja like Kurenai-san! I want to help protect the village and I want to be important!" Sakura confessed, only to receive a sharp smack across her cheek. Her lips quivered, though she were about to cry but something inside of her prevented her from allowing any tears to escape.

"You will not be a murderer! Not my daughter! If I have to take you away from this place to do that, I will! You will not give your life away to become a monster!" her mother yelled. Sakura stood there silently, her eyes blankly staring at the floor. A fire in her belly beginning to ignite, chills filling through her skin.

" _They can't make you do anything. You can show them. You can make them see things your way, they have no choice."_

The voice startled her, but encouraged her as well. Her mother took notice at the change of demeanor. She saw her daughter's arms slowly raising, and her hands forming some sort of sign. Her head raising, her eyes finally meeting her mother's once more.

"I won't let anyone hurt me again... that means you too, mother." Her mother shouted and then Sakura's vision began to blur, eventually falling into darkness, only the sound of the voice's laughter to lull her into a deep slumber.

She didn't know how long she had been asleep, she didn't know where she was, exactly, but the smell of disinfectant gave her the idea she must be in a hospital of some sort. She didn't want to open her eyes, she couldn't remember anything after she had been slapped by her mother. Why had her memory faded out like that?

" _No one will ever make you feel helpless again. I promise."_ The voice had seemed familiar, but she didn't like their tone. It worried her, what had they meant? What had happened?

She arose from her bed and looked out the window to see her parents talking to a doctor and the male ninja she had seen with Kurenai.

"I promise you, Haruno-san, your daughter will be safe within our curriculum. She will learn to control these abilities, and she will learn when it is an appropriate time to use them and when it is not," she overheard. Her father was comforting her mother, her mother seemed traumatized. Her face was blank, though she'd lost all life and was now living as a shell of her former self.

" _She can't hurt you anymore, don't you see? You got what you wanted."_ Sakura brought her hands to her head and shook it, crying out.

"I didn't want this! What did you make me do? I didn't want to hurt anyone!" They must have heard Sakura talking to herself because the doctor and ninja came rushing in to restrain her back in her bed. Her parents were outside the door, afraid to come close.

"Father! Mother! Make it stop!" she sobbed, she saw the needle the doctor was about to inject, she screamed, unable to prevent the inevitable. She felt the needle dig into her skin and she grew tired once more.

She always felt tired. Her father explained that she had to take this medicine so she would feel better. She used to argue about how it only made her tired but he persisted that her medicine was important. She wouldn't fight it, for now at least. Her father only wanted her to be okay, and if this will help her be okay then why not? A little drowsiness should be an okay side effect.

Sakura didn't know what she did or why her mother was always resting but she knew it was her fault. Whenever she would ask about her mother, her father would simply reply that she was resting. That's why they agreed to let her join the academy. They knew that they couldn't control her anymore. She couldn't even control herself. The voice that had encouraged her was seemingly gone, she assumed the medicine had something to do with it.

Whenever she went to the playground to play, Ami and her group would steer far away from her now. Everyone seemed to hate her, fear her. She would play on the swings, swinging back and forth for hours. Thinking. She would see Sasuke-kun in the darker hours, he'd be by the merry-go-round, running and holding onto the bars, seeing how fast he can go, how long he can last before his legs give out, or he loses stamina.

Sakura stared intensely, in admiration at how Sasuke-kun was so determined, so athletic, so... free? She gripped the chains of the swing tightly and lowered her head. He wasn't free, if she were as naive as she used to be, maybe she would think that, but now? She knew better. Freedom had to be fought for. Freedom was never free, there was always a steep price to pay for freedom.

Suddenly she felt his eyes on her, he glared at her, full of malice. Like she was dirt beneath his fingernails. She was, she told herself. She is dirt. She is trash, she is a monster. His looks of pity turned to looks of disdain and she deserved every bit of it. She just wish she knew how to stop it.

She grew up in the academy, physically but the moment she awoke in that hospital and saw her mother so broken, was the moment her mind had grown. She knew that the world was not a happy place, no matter how much her parents had tried to shelter her, no matter how much the teachers said the bullying would stop, she knew better than to believe such lies. The only way to peace is by force, by fear. No one bullied her now, because of what she'd done.

Not that she knew what she had done, she would hear the whispers and gossip from other villagers as she walked around; they however, never dared to say it directly in her face. Whenever she'd go to the market to buy groceries, the clerk would always look at her wearily, offering discounts any chance she could get.

She felt as though her heart ached, she almost wished for the days that she was a weakling and everyone bullied her again, because this loneliness... was more painful than any punch or kick they could ever give her. Whenever she showed Sasuke-kun so much admiration, he could only return her feelings as disgust. She deserved it, she told herself. Maybe one day, people will forget and then she can move forward.

As days passed, weeks followed, then came months, and years after all. It was worse than she could have hoped for, but she tried to keep telling her that things will get better, they had to get better, people will learn to forgive her, or they'll stop being afraid of her and just bully her and pick on her for her forehead again, it can be like that again, she dreamt for it. She just had to work to get back to that place, she knew if she worked hard enough, things will change, they had to.

She was wrong. They wouldn't forget. Even whenever her mother began to regain the same character as before, everyone reacted the same. Fearful and hateful. She was nine years old, and three years had passed since that day. Her studies in the academy excelled as expected, she was always a very bright child.

However, her grade of classroom participation was below average, not because she didn't want to contribute, but because no one would work with her. Well, except a blonde haired boy. He said his name was Naruto and people treated him poorly too. She found something of a friend in him, but still cautious not to get attached. They only talked in class whenever they were teamed up for projects. She made note that Naruto was very brash and overconfident despite his own isolation. How could he feel so strong when everyone kicked him down and didn't give him the chance to get back up?

Maybe, she was meant to rise up, like him. But she wasn't like him, she was a monster. She had hurt her own mother, not intentionally but who would believe her? It was just too soon. Another child had killed his entire clan only months earlier, she was surprised nothing more was done to incapacitate her. Maybe she was only a threat to those who couldn't help themselves. That's why they put her into the academy, to keep her away from normal children, she figured.

The more time that progressed, the more she resented herself and any skills she naturally possessed. She resented ever wanting to become a ninja. She resented ever standing up for herself. How dare she disturb the balance and make herself something she had no right being? How dare she not just accept her weakness and fate as a punching bag? Why did she want more for her insignificant life? She was selfish, she felt. She had no right to happiness when she took away another's.

By the time she had turned twelve and graduated the academy, she withdrew any emotions she had. No emotions, meant no weakness, which meant she could become the perfect tool for her village. The perfect tool becomes the most valuable and the most sought out challenge. She could only dream of the day that she could end her life by the name of her village and Hokage.

There had been times in which other ninja and doctors alike would examine her and check her psyche and mental health to see if she was fit for the act. She knew how to pass any test they had to give her, her mind was fragmented, but she prided on herself on the fragments that she could use to seem relatively normal, just shy. She was a Shinobi now, appearances can be deceiving, and she will use them to her full advantage.

She was waiting for her to be assigned to her team. She showed no emotion when revealed to be partners to both Naruto and Sasuke. Naruto seemed to be happy that he was on a team with her, but annoyed to be with Sasuke. They were something of a one-sided rivalry. What care should she have? She tried to think of the team dynamics for a moment, what kind of sake were they drinking when they made this team rotation? Did they just _assume_ she would be the glue to keep the team together, to be mediator between two extremes? How dare they give her that responsibility?

As if she wasn't already angry at the people who had chosen her teammates, she was furious when she learned that she did not get Kurenai as her sensei, with all things considered, she should have been a sure student of hers. But no, of course not. She got the copycat ninja. Always late, always cryptic, and rumored to be a pervert.

Three hours after everyone else's teams had been rounded up by their senseis, Sakura was just about to damn the team she had been assigned and go home, whenever Naruto decided to place a blackboard eraser against the door frame in an attempt to prank their new sensei whenever he dare showed his face. Er, mask, rather.

She didn't care that he had fallen for a juvenile prank by Naruto nonetheless, she was just wanting to get over with the formalities and start working her way up the ranks. She was tired and by far done, with wasting time.

Fantastic. He was asking for them to talk about themselves, he called it a team-building exercise, she called it a waste of time. He seemed to note her reluctance, but didn't say anything.

"My name is Naruto Uzumaki! I like Ramen, especially instant ramen that takes only a minute or two to make, I dislike people who act like they're better than others..." he glared at Sasuke, whom glared back. "My dream is to be Hokage! Dattebayo!"

Kakashi turned his eyes to her, signaling for her to go next. She gave him a blank look. She eventually gave up, cursing Kami for this man's persistence.

"My name is Sakura Haruno. I like reading. I don't like being made to wait for three hours for a professional to grace us with his presence, my dream is that one day I can make a sacrifice for the good of the village." Her proclaimed dream seemed to have an effect on Kakashi, from what she could tell. She didn't stress on it. He merely prompted Sasuke to go last.

"Hn. Uchiha Sasuke. I don't like much of anything, my ambition is to kill the one responsible for my clan's massacre." After all the introductions, Kakashi briefed them to meet up tomorrow morning and told them not to eat breakfast, if they wish not to lose it first thing. He vanished, leaving the genin to their own devices. Sasuke just started to walk away, Sakura in the other direction with Naruto in the middle yelling, asking where they were all going.

"Home," they both said simultaneously. She had caught Sasuke's gaze, his turned sharp towards her. She returned the sentiment.

"But we should train! So we can all defeat Baka-sensei tomorrow!" Naruto explained, Sasuke stopped and turned around. Sakura kept walking.

"Sakura-chan? Didn't you hear me? We have to work together to take down Baka-sensei tomorrow!" She stopped for a moment, not bothering to turn around.

"I don't need to work with anyone. My place in this team is just a stupid placeholder for someone who would deserve it. Where I belong would make you wet yourself. I was never meant to be part of a group." She began walking once more.

"What are you talking about, Sakura-chan? You belong here! Even if Sasuke is an asshole, we're still a team! We're supposed to be a family!" She clenched her fists, unable to control the emotions at his claim of them being a family.

"We're not a damn family, Naruto! We will never be a family, no matter how much you crave for one! By the time we get promoted, we'll be separated into new teams, we won't be together forever, it is time you realize that! Some people aren't meant to have families, some people thrive without it! Stop acting so damn naive and accept that the world we live in isn't a fucking playground!"

Naruto was caught off guard by her rant, she had never yelled at him like that. Sure, they weren't exactly friends, but she had never indulged in bullying him like other people had done.

"You know, she's right, dobe. For someone who broke their own parent, we are better off without scum like yourself." Sasuke surprisingly came in his defense. Sakura couldn't help but laugh, the air becoming uneasy and thick with tension.

"At least you finally say it. Are you just mad that I'm more like your brother than you are?" Sasuke's rage then began to soar, engaging in open contact. Sasuke was good at Taijutsu, and he was much faster than her, but she was well trained in evasion. She didn't have to be better than him at that, but if she can avoid or escape without detection, she counted that as a win.

"Fight me! Stop running away like the coward I know you are!" He was scanning the entire area, at this point Naruto was gone. She didn't care where he had gone at this point. It was time that she brought this Uchiha to his knees for the second time in his life.

Once Kakashi had teleported away to the Jounin longue, he met up with the new jounin senseis. Asuma and Kurenai.

"Yo," he gave his greetings. They greeted him return, Kurenai seemed a tad more reserved than usual, however. He decided to address it bluntly. She seemed a little started by his notation.

"I'm more than thrilled with my students, it's just..." she trailed.

"You wanted Sakura on your team," Asuma finished for her. She sighed and looked away. Kakashi hummed in interest. Why would she have wanted Sakura? From what Kakashi could tell, Sakura didn't look to be promising by any means. She was a good academic student from what he read, but nothing else from her regular file told of anything outstanding. Maybe that's why she was put on his team.

"I've known her since she was little, I was there when... everything happened," she failed to elaborate. Out of curiosity, Kakashi had managed to close his book of sin to listen more intently.

"What happened, if I may ask?" he asked tiredly. Kurenai became tight lipped for a moment.

"You can tell him, since he is her jounin sensei. He should be privy to that information," Asuma reassured her. She sighed again.

"Asuma and I had actually met Sakura about six years ago, I had just made Chunin at that time. Asuma was approached by Sasuke in regards to her being picked on by some girls that were older than her, Asuma scared away the other girls but once he tried to approach Sakura, she ran away," she began explaining, noticing Kakashi's anxious stare. Urging her to go on.

"I found her, in an area of the village that she had enveloped into a genjutsu. She had placed herself in her own illusion. I couldn't break it, it was so thick. So I had found Kurenai to break the illusion and confront Sakura," Asuma got straight to the point.

"First off, that would make her six years old. Secondly, she was from a Civilian family. Really, tell me the truth. I'm in no mood for jokes." Asuma angrily crushed the end of his cigarette.

"Does it look like I'm joking? Why would I admit to being unable to break a genjutsu of a child?" Kurenai patted his back gently, then looked to Kakashi seriously.

"Kakashi, please. Promise me you will not let her feel alone. Please don't alienate her. She needs someone she can relate to, someone she can count on."

"There's something else you're not telling me, is there?" Before Kurenai could reply, the ear shattering scream of a certain yellow haired genin filled the air.

"Sensei! Come quick! Sasuke, Sakura, fight!" he panted. All the jounin followed him to the training field to see Sakura and Sasuke, indeed, within a fight. They heard Sasuke calling her a coward, provoking her to fight him. Kurenai had a look of worry once she felt the effects of a genjutsu being created. She had instinctively went to dispel it, but Kakashi had stopped her. She looked at him angrily.

"What do you think you're doing, Kakashi! You don't know what she's capable of, she, she...!" Sasuke's screams interrupted, everyone's attention focused on Sasuke on the ground, his hands to his head, falling face first into the dirt.

"Call me a coward, but you let them all die," they heard Sakura's voice. Kurenai dispelled the illusion immediately. They moved in to finally separate the two. Kurenai to Sakura, and Kakashi and Asuma to Sasuke. Sasuke seemed to be in a catatonic state. Sakura was her usual self. If not, more happy than she should be.

Kakashi had seen it. What she had made Sasuke go through. It was vivid, full of death, blood, gore. Oh god, what the hell was wrong with her? How could she be so cruel? How could he teach her the importance of teamwork, when she was the makings of a monster?

When he had gone to the Hokage to express his concerns, the amount of unconcern astounded Kakashi. He merely just said to give them time to adjust. Sakura was a tricky student, but she would be valuable once she could be placed within ANBU ranks.

It had taken a few hours before Sasuke was back to his original self. Though still a bit startled, he was just the same broody teenage boy he expected him to be. Kakashi was second-guessing his test for tomorrow. He knew for a fact that after today, they wouldn't be able to pass it. Perhaps, instead of his test, he should change it up a bit, maybe he needed to show them what happens when you don't value your teammates.

Sakura seemed very pleased with herself, she had gotten the respect she demanded, and he got the karma he was calling for. She felt vindicated giving him a peace of her mind. A piece of the hell she has to live and suffer through. If he wants her to be a monster, she may as well oblige.

The day came and went. Expecting him to be late, Sakura didn't bother getting up as early as he stated. Imagine her surprise when she was awoken by him at her window.

"Sakura-chan, did you forget our meeting this morning?" She growled, merely getting out of bed and dressing herself. She followed him, only to end up at the memorial stone.

"Why are we here? And where are Naruto and Sasuke?" she asked suspiciously. His stare became serious, he placed a hand on the stone affectionately.

"They will be with us later today, I think you and I have a lot to talk about. I'm not sure you know what it means to be a ninja, Sakura." She snarled at him.

"Are you sure I don't? I know that with this life comes sacrifices, not only of our bodies, but of our morals and our minds. You can't say I don't have what it takes to survive this life when your obvious favorite couldn't even handle a simple genjutsu, and he should have been born to see through them," she harshly replied, his eyes turned harsh to hers.

"Being a ninja does not mean being cruel to your comrades, which is why I will not endorse your rank until you prove me otherwise."

Her knuckles were white, her anger was rising, gritting her teeth.

"Perhaps you should give the same speech to Sasuke, he was the one who started it. I only finished it. I don't care if you endorse me or not, I don't need you, and I don't need this team. You'll only ignore me. Even with your transplanted Sharingan, you have nothing you can offer me. Even if I managed to convince you otherwise, you would shun me, like you have done to your teammates of the past."

He had no response to that, she was right. He would shun her. Hate her. He would teach her nothing, for she deserved no instruction from him. What alarmed him, however, was her knowledge of who he was, and what he had lost. That wasn't accessible information, which would mean she illegally obtained transcripts.

"Before you even assume I illegally obtained information, I have zero means or interest to. I merely obtained this information through other means. Just because I'm a girl, does not mean I'm careless. I knew you were going to be my sensei before I received my hitai-ite. I made sure to do research on you from what I could find from the library and from what I could manage to hear from other operatives who have worked with you. I'm afraid I know more about you than you know about me."

He grabbed her by the lapels of her shirt and lifted her up, staring deeply into her darkened eyes.

"I don't have to know everything about you to know you are not fit to be part of my team. You are not worth saving." She laughed.

"I feel the same way." Her tone sounded sad, regardless of her laughter. He understood fully what she was now. She was someone to dispose of. Someone to send to do the dirty missions, because any amount of moral fibre she had, must have been stored away long ago. He wondered if she had been a part of Danzo's root operation once, but he saw no seals, no signs to prove his suspicion.

He threw her down onto the cold earth, she stayed down for a moment before picking herself up and patting away at her clothes.

"I will do what you say, only because you are my superior. I will work with this team with utmost respect, but do not mistake it for camaraderie. As soon as I make chunin, you will never have to see me again, and I you." He begrudgingly agreed. He honestly couldn't revoke her position unless he had someone who could replace her available.

Once the boys had arrived, Sakura had kept to her promise and worked with the boys in order to retrieve the bells. Sasuke was more than hesitant to work with her, but she managed to get him to cooperate. Even after the trauma she had made him endure the night before.

Regardless of her nature, she was good at being inconspicuous. She knew how to use her strengths to her advantage, she knew how to lead her team-mates through and get them to achieve a common goal. She probably already knew the point of his test from the get-go. From the moment that she had gotten hands on both bells, she tossed them to Naruto and Sasuke, who were wide eyed.

"If I haven't proved to you I will keep you safe now, then I shouldn't bother trying." She ran away before any other words could be exchanged. Kakashi congratulated the boys and told him they all passed. Whenever Naruto brought up Sakura, he reiterated. He dismissed the boys and went on his way to the memorial stone once more.

He had a lot to think about, Sakura mostly. He didn't understand why she was this way, for a child born from a civilian family, there must have been some sort of trauma in her childhood to turn her into... whatever she was claiming to be. He decided to pay Kurenai another visit. She has known Sakura far longer than him, perhaps she knows the full extent of what Sakura had been through to get to where she is right now.

"Kakashi, this is a surprise. Come in, I've just made tea," she welcomed him into her home and he sat down on her navy coach. She brought a cup for both him and herself and sat down beside him.

"What may I owe to this visit, Kakashi?" He took a sip of his tea and sighed.

"What more can you tell me about Sakura? Why is she the way she is?" She took a long sip from her cup and placed it down on the table in front.

"Kakashi, when I met Sakura she was an obvious victim of relentless bullying. The way she would cope with that would be to place herself into an illusion to where she could act out her heart's desires. Whether that be defending herself, or just dreams she had for growing up. Whenever we escorted her back to her parents, we spoke with them briefly to alert them to their daughter's abilities. Asuma wasn't lying when he said the genjutsu she was under was thick. It was almost as if she had another person placing the illusion onto her, but that would be preposterous. It was the same chakra signature, but she was only six at the time. That kind of ability is on prodigy level, it should have been impossible for someone with such low reserves at that age.

As expected, her civilian parents abhorred the idea of Sakura receiving instruction at the academy, they were well aware of the stigma and what it could mean for their only child. They were worried, I can imagine."

"Then what?" he interrupted still sipping on his tea.

"She must have overheard the argument, she started to scour the library for any information on what we were discussing. She had eventually resorted to sneaking into the academy library to obtain books and information."

"That is strictly prohibited, she should have been whisked away by ANBU and interrogated." Kurenai rolled her eyes and took another sip.

"You see, she had masked her chakra almost perfectly, there was a small fumble which was how I detected her as she was about to leave. She looked frantic, ashamed and apologetic. Stating she was just curious and dropped the books, promising not to return. I told her that it was okay that she was curious, I allowed her to take the books if she promised to bring them back.

If I knew that same night that we'd be back at her home, I'm not sure I would have given her the books, after all... Curiosity is a powerful thing for someone who has an ability they have no idea how to control. She had no one to practice with, everything she has learned, she learned because she practiced with herself. I didn't know the full extents of her abilities until I saw her mother. I will never get that image out of my mind," she finished. She lowered her head, sighing then taking a sip from her cup once more.

"What did she do? Did she attack her mother?"

"Physically, no."

Kakashi went back to the night before, how Sasuke had reacted to the genjutsu had placed him in.

"She placed her mother into a genjutsu so well-weaved, it broke her mother's mind. Her mother is still recovering from the incident. After that, Sakura was placed into the academy and placed under intense observation and scrutiny from both T&I and doctors alike. From what I could observe, it was a mistake, built up emotional trauma that had inadvertently triggered that sort of reaction."

"But that doesn't explain why she is the way she is now. How can a little cuddly child become so infuriatingly thorough enough to inspect and research into confidential material without ever seeing the transcripts?"

"If you would stop interrupting me, I could tell you!" she harshly replied. He resigned in silence.

"Do you see how Naruto is treated, and how he acts in response?" she asked, he think he already knew the comparison she was trying to make.

"That is different. He is shunned, people hate him for the sole reason that they are expected to by their parents. You cannot mean that Sakura and Naruto are one in the same, either."

"I swear to god Kakashi, for someone who stresses his colleagues to look underneath the underneath, you are about as dense as they come. Do you not understand that Sakura is the way she is, because of something she had no control over as child? She had not meant to hurt her mother, and yet, everyone condemns her for something she had no control over. Do you realize what people must have said about her? After the Uchiha Massacre, everyone was on edge, then a civilian child broke their own parents mind, do you understand now?"

"She was shunned, people spoke about her like she was a monster, just like Itachi. They compared a six year old child to a murderer. They still do to this very day. Don't you realize how lonely she must have felt? Some people, like Naruto can handle that sort of loneliness. Some people can't. It can change people. That is why, she is the way she is. I just wish... I wish I could have been the one to bring her out of that place, but Hokage-sama has other plans, apparently. Thus, she landed on your team," she finally finished, her cup of tea now turned cold.

Kakashi was silent for several moments, fully processing the information. Even if it was the full extent of the truth, he still couldn't find it in himself to feel anything more than disgust at her. Disgusted how she allowed her loneliness to turn to anger, how she allowed her trials and tribulations to make her into a monster, someone of Uchiha Itachi's caliber. He thanked Kurenai for the tea and the chat and went on his way. Perhaps, he will just have to see how things sgo. If she ever made the smallest notion to cause her team problems that could endanger them, he would deal with her himself.

For the most part, Sakura was quiet but did her job as a genin well. She never complained, she just accepted the terms of her mission and completed them quickly and efficiently, even if they were as simple as possible. She worked with both Sasuke and Naruto well, she listened to whatever suggestions he gave her in regards to catching cats, or other manual labor missions they had received.

When Naruto had finally had it with the D-Rank missions she had quietly agreed but didn't stress upon it. Sasuke didn't say anything, but he was noticeably annoyed with catching cats and watching snot-nosed brats.

When the Hokage finally allowed them to go on a C-rank mission, Kakashi was hesitant on how they would all react on a legitimate mission. One where they would possibly have to fight against others, mostly bandits, but still. His fears were strengthened whenever they did not come across bandits, but actual Mist shinobi. He placed a replication jutsu, allowing his clone to perish from the first mist ninja, whilst the other went straight towards the bridge builder, only for Sakura guard him and pull several kunai and shuriken out her bag and threw them viciously to the attacker.

The Mist ninja laughed at her, assuring her that weapons won't cause him any harm, until he saw her smirk, he didn't feel the incoming presence of Sasuke coming from behind with a roundhouse kick to the back of the head, knocking him out instantly, the other mist ninja came charging at them, then Kakashi reappeared out of nowhere, grabbing them both by their necks and smashing their heads together.

"Good work Sasuke, Sakura. Naruto, you could be a little more prepared, we'll work on that fight or flight instinct." Sasuke scoffed then mockingly turned to Naruto, calling him a scaredy cat. As expected, Naruto reacted irrationally. Sakura kept her ears open to any other sounds that she recognized not as normal for this climate.

"Tazuna, it seems we have a bit to discuss." the bridge builder laughed nervously.

Figures the bridge builder would lie about the people who were after him. Not only had their mission gone up to A-rank, they were now being targeted by a demon. Kakashi lifted his hitai-ite from his eye, showing his Sharingan. This man must be a true threat, if Kakashi is going to these means. Sakura cautiously kept watch over the bridge builder and in between Sasuke and Naruto. The moment Kakashi was stuck within a bubble of water, Sakura had forced herself not to panic. She knew she could hold her own against people her level, but this... She couldn't fight against this demon and survive. They had to retreat.

"Sasuke, Naruto, Sakura! Take the bridge builder and leave! He can't leave with his jutsu on me, get out and get him to somewhere safe!" As Sakura was about to follow his instructions, Naruto and Sasuke stopped her.

"We're not going anywhere Kakashi-sensei! We'll get you out of there and keep the old man safe! Dattebayo!" Why would Naruto make such outrageous promises? Did he not realize the kind of shit they were in? They would die if they stayed.

"You told us those who broke the rules were trash, but those who leave their comrades are the absolute scum. We'd rather be trash and save you than run away, living our lives as scum." Sasuke piped in. Sakura kept her blind spots occupied, still refusing to leave their clients side, but something inside of her was telling her, to go. Go save their teacher, help him. Save him. Maybe, there's something she could do, without leaving her post.

Discreetly, she focused her chakra together and a wave of genjutsu filled the battlefield, enveloping all who resided within. She made sure to keep things as natural as possible. If she could fool the demon, Naruto and Sasuke would have enough time to do the rest. Sending a mental note to both Sasuke and Naruto, she told them to do what they need to do, she'll hold down the genjutsu as long as she can.

"Does a little genin think she can make a difference? Genjutsu, even if it's so well thought out, has not fooled me in the slightest. I do have to commend you on your skill, but you could never expect to defeat someone of my level. I'll give you the chance to walk away and dispel before I kill you and the bridge builder both." Sakura stood her ground, she cursed his seeing through her illusion, perhaps she'd just have to try a little harder, maybe something different, she had to try. She had to do something-

Naruto and Sasuke finally pulled through, her distraction worked, Sasuke in turned redirected the rogue ninja with his large shuriken, when it missed, the demon of the mist didn't think to look back at the hyperactive ninja transforming from the weapon to finally cause him to drop his jutsu against Kakashi.

"You damn brats. I see you want to fight, how about I kill you all, one by one, and I start with your little girlfriend?" Whenever he made a be-line for Sakura, she did not expect to see Sasuke jump in front to her defense, bouncing him off and away. She had promised her team she would protect them, but she never told them to protect her. Why did they?

The battle ended quickly after, both sides agreeing to retreat until another day. Sakura stayed close to Tazuna as the boys carried Kakashi away to the bridge builder's home. Sakura began to dress his wounds and clean him up. She said nothing during the entire exchange.

Once Kakashi was healed enough, he called for an emergency training regimen, consisting of tree walking, water walking, and chakra exercises. Whenever Sakura did it flawlessly, Kakashi could see what Sarutobi meant. She was a good candidate for ANBU. She held no morals, she was a lone wolf, she had no remorse for hurting someone, and she had the fundamentals of ninjutsu mastered. She could use her chakra any way she pleased without any waste.

He understood how important it was to give Sakura this opportunity with his team, no matter how much he disliked her. She is as he said. She is a disposable. She cared for no one, not even herself. As much as he preached for teamwork and keeping your team alive, there would always have to be the one sacrifice. Maybe, that's what she was. She was the one to sacrifice, to save the others.

For whatever reason, that didn't settle well with him.

When the final battle had arrived, Kakashi was against Zabuza, then Naruto and Sasuke against the hunter-nin, Haku was his name. Sakura protected Tazuna against any stray senbon that managed to leak out of the battlefield. She didn't understand why she was the one who had to stand guard while everyone else risked their lives to protect this man.

It seemed like Kakashi was better prepared now than he was before, making no mistakes. Once the glass mirrors on Naruto and Sasuke's side arose, she felt herself begin to panic. What was going to happen? Are they going to be okay?

Once the mirrors shattered and the battle from both sides seemed to be at a halt, Sakura's attention went straight to Naruto and Sasuke. Senbon impaling his entire body. Her body shook, unable to process the emotions she should be feeling.

Grief, anger, resent? Self-loathing?

"Go to him, I will be fine," the client reassured her. She walked slowly to Sasuke's unmoving body. She hesitantly caressed his cold cheek, her fingers twitching.

"You weren't supposed to die... I, I was supposed to take your place..." For the first time in years, she felt her eyes water, her breathing becoming irregular, a sob threatening to escape her throat.

"God damnit, you weren't supposed to die! It was supposed to be me! You were supposed to survive and make a difference!" She finally allowed the thoughts to take fruition. She threw herself on top of Sasuke, crying, cursing herself.

"Why couldn't it have been me instead?" she choked out. Suddenly she felt his chest rise, his breath blowing against her hair.

"Sakura... it hurts, get off." Unsure of how to react, she merely got off, and helped him to his feet. Fluffing her hair out to cover her face.

Sakura didn't notice the mini battle going on outside of this new revelation. Gato and his men had turned against Zabuza and Haku had just then sacrificed himself for Zabuza's sake. She found Haku to be someone admirable. Maybe one day, she would have the same end. Protecting someone she loved, regardless of how they felt about her. She will make a difference with her self-sacrifice. One day.

After Gato and his men were dealt with by the village and Kakashi's assistance, they patched up any injuries they sustained and rested before setting back to Konoha. Sakura was even more quiet than she normally was. Kakashi didn't bother her in this time, though he had been preoccupied with Zabuza and Gato, he couldn't help but notice her breakdown over thinking Sasuke had perished. For someone who acted so self-dependent, someone who preached she didn't need her teammates, she surely found it important to take the fall for them.

Perhaps his suspicions of her being the sacrifice was correct. Someone from a civilian clan with no sense of moral dignity, or attachments would be placed on a team full of legends. Himself, the last Uchiha, and of course, the fourth's legacy. It would have been stupid to place, say, an heiress of the noble clan within his team instead. For what his team was meant to accomplish, there would always be the scapegoat, though he hasn't minded that title for himself, he couldn't have helped whenever the girl had seemingly garnered that title for herself. But now, he didn't want it for her. Before, he couldn't have cared less.

From first experiences, he disliked her. He didn't want her on his team, he didn't want her anywhere near him. She acted the same towards him. To say he wouldn't care if she died would be cruel, but no further from the truth. But now? There was depth to her. Something to have made her feel this sort of entitlement, this sort of emotional burden.

Kurenai explained to him that it stemmed from years of isolation and self-resentment. She attempted to compare her to Naruto, of whom coped by pranking and causing harmless, mischievous deeds around the village. He had more hate directed towards him than Sakura, but he is bright, bubbly, and kind. Sakura is quiet, cautious, and self-reliant. Her file said she didn't work well with others, but when given no choice, she seemed to work more than well with her team-mates. Above average, when he looked into it. Maybe, if he can look past his own prejudice towards her, he can help her become more than the fall girl. More than the sacrifice.

Whenever they got back to the village, Kakashi announced that they were going to participate in the Chunin exams and poofed away with no other explanation.

Sakura was not concerned about the exam, she would make chunin whether her teammates did or didn't. Imagine her surprise when the first exam consisted of incredibly difficult problems that she knew Naruto would not get. She knew that they wanted her to cheat, but she had no means to. She had the knowledge to solve the questions without those means. Naruto, however... she groaned. She hoped he would at least get one question right.

He faked them out. Sakura looked at the senior interrogator blankly. Did he just make her fill out this entire exam, without cheating once, only to tell them, they didn't have to even get any answers correct. She masked her rage with apathy. She would need her energy for the next exam, surely.

The second exam proctor was a woman with dark purple hair, who seemed a bit too excited to send pre-teens to fight to the death in a forest full of terrifying creatures. Way too excited, actually. Once everyone was given their scrolls, and give the symbol, they were set up at different entrances to the exam, and released.

It wasn't long until they saw a sketchy Grass-nin approach them, licking her kunai with their abnormally long tongue. It gave her shivers, thinking about it. Suddenly, she felt the air shift, grow think. Genjutsu, she swore. She dispelled it immediately, turning her head to Sasuke who seemed to be still under.

The grass ninja was coming straight toward them, Sakura grabbed Sasuke, and started trying to find an escape route.

"Oh, how amusing. A genin well versed in Genjutsu.. Too bad you and your friend will die here before you can make anything of yourselves." they taunted. Where the _fuck_ is Naruto, she asked herself, then resorted to thinking about him another time. She had to find a way to get away from this ninja. They were dangerous, Sasuke still seemed a little shaken, but he was finally beginning to respond like his normal self.

Sasuke attempted his fireball jutsu, Sakura tried to mask her kunai and shuriken within the flames, honing them in on their target. But it seemed useless, this was no ordinary shinobi, she realized. The chakra was much deeper, menacing, darker... than she could have imagined.

"Who are you?! And what do you want from us?" Sakura barked. She knew she should get too mouthy, but she was getting tired of playing cat and mouse with someone who was obviously above her level. Suddenly, she realized they were in henge, she snarled and attempted to force release them.

"Show yourself!"

They chuckled.

"How interesting, a cute little girl managed to break through my illusions so exquisitely. I suppose you deserve to know the name and face of the bringer of your demise." his smirk getting wider, his tongue slithering out of his mouth, getting longer; almost as though it was a snake of its own entity. Their appearance slowly transformed into a form of sheer terror. This was bad.

"Oro-orochimaru..." she whispered in disbelief. Why was he here? After all these years, why would he show up to a stupid little exam like this? Before she could react, his neck extend towards Sasuke, his mouth widened and sinking his fangs into Sasuke's neck. Sasuke cried out in pain, sinking to the ground, clutching to the mark forming on his neck.

Then she heard a huge rupture, to her right she saw Naruto fighting a giant snake, he had just cut his way out of the snake's belly. Another behind him, before he could respond, the snake smacked him away. Against a tall tree. Sakura threw a Kunai, to keep him in place while the snake sannin chuckled.

"Sasuke will come to me. Keep him safe for me until then, Sakura-chan. I hope to see you again soon." He then vanished from her sights. She looked over to the unconscious Naruto hanging by her Kunai and then clutching onto Sasuke who had gone unconscious himself due to the extreme pain from receiving some sort of forbidden mark. She felt a tear escape from her eye.

"What do I do? Oh god, what do I do?" she allowed herself to sob.

Once she got out all her emotions she grabbed Naruto down from the tree and placed him on one shoulder and Sasuke on the other. She paced herself, trying to find a spot of safety. Until she could see the patrol and let them know that the notorious Orochimaru had paid them all a visit. Exam be damned, she was lucky to have survived.

She found a conspicuous tree with a large opening at the trunk. Masking it with other leaves and debris made a good hiding spot. She placed a genjutsu over Sasuke and Naruto, so their chakras couldn't leak out their location. She masked her chakra as best as she could manage. Naruto seemed only exhausted, she was far more worried about Sasuke and the strange mark that Orochimaru had given to him. She forced fluids into him, and once she noticed the incredibly high fever, she began doing cold compresses and she already bathed him in cold water as a means to bring his temperature down. She placed several traps around the area as a means of defense, or a warning for her to know she needed to be ready to defend not only herself, but the lives of her two teammates.

Just because she didn't need them in her life, didn't mean in a team they were worthless. She was part of this team, and she will not lose one member, even if it kills her.

She thought for a second, wouldn't that make her a hypocrite? She was part of the team, if she died then where would that leave her? She scoffed. She was only a temporary placement. She already knew that from the moment of her placement. She didn't belong with the last Uchiha, the legacy of the white fang, and then the fourth's son (though not released as such). She was Sakura, a clan-less, talent-less, worthless tag-along. Her skills involved being good at fucking around with other's minds just as people fucked with hers. Or was that her? It doesn't matter, she supposes.

She muses about things like this to keep herself awake, to keep the heavy lids of her eyes wide, to force herself to finally do something worthwhile. To finally keep a promise. No one will die under her watch, lest it be herself. Then, she would be able to rest happily.

She heard a sound, startling her from her very limited rest. Her heart was racing, she turned around to check on her boys. She cringed, did she just refer to them as her boys? Beside the point! Who was setting off her traps? She peaked through the shrubbery of the tree and saw a squirrel. She was cautious, someone could have henged into a squirrel or they could have attached wildlife with any sort of device. She couldn't afford to take any chance when Naruto and Sasuke were still out for the count.

The moment she felt three chakra signatures, she knew she was found. She gripped onto her kunai, still trying to cloak both Naruto and Sasuke's bodies within a genjutsu, at least to keep their chakras hidden from the assailants she was about to encounter.

"Ahh, come on out little girl. It'd be a shame if we had to blow up your tree." She cursed, they must be very high ranking ninja to be able to see through her illusion, or they must have known somehow, she was there...

She cautiously revealed herself. Before her, three sound ninja appeared. A woman with long black locks, a man who was hunched over, metal covering both his forearms, and then another male with holes in the palms of his hands, he had a cocky smirk on his face.

"Ahh, you finally decided to come out of your hiding spot. Good choice, now you just have to tell us where the Uchiha boy is, and maybe we'll let you live, at least until you die here in the forest," he sneered. Sakura stood her ground, not showing any sort of fear.

The hunched man with the metal arms tilted his head.

"Are you not afraid, little girl?" he asked. Sakura's face was blank, then slowly evolved into a smirk. With just a snap of her fingers, she had a trap coming towards the sound-nin, a full tree log to knock them back, until the one with metal forearms raised his arm and she heard a very high pitched screech. She saw the sound shatter the log into splinters.

"You foolish girl! You thought you could trick us with such a rudimentary trap? What a pathetic excuse for a ninja, then again, you are from Konoha," the female taunted. Sakura glared to her attackers. Her eyes traveling from each ninja to the next, thinking of her next course of action.

"Are you going to tell us where the Uchiha is or not? Or do we have to beat it out of ya?" the arrogant sound-nin started walking towards Sakura. She focused her eyes on him alone, but she knew she had to make sure the other two wouldn't interfere.

" _I'll make sure they won't even have the chance to interfere. They won't have the minds to react, their minds will be babyfood once we are done with them. Let me break them, they will never get Sasuke."_

The voice had caught her off guard, the shinobi saw this as an opportunity to speedily run behind her, grabbing her arms and pulling them back. She cried loudly in pain. She was so stupid to have gotten distracted! Why did she allow that voice back? She didn't have a choice, she mournfully realized. She hadn't taken the medicine that she had been routinely given for the better half of her life. Now she will suffer for her incompetence.

" _We won't have to suffer anymore, I promise. They will see true suffering. I guarantee it."_ Sakura screamed loudly and then her head hung down low, almost as though she had just passed out.

"What a weak little brat. That was easy. Now we just have to kill Sasuke and we can report to Orochimaru-sama." He looked back at his two teammates who stood silently, then looking directly into their faces, they were blank.

"What the fuck?! Dosu! Kin! What the fuck is going on!?" he ordered. Then he heard the sound of a child laughing, looking down and then seeing a child reflection of himself.

"Orochimaru-sama said I had to do this. He said this will make him proud, I will be strong with arms like these!" The arms he held that were once the pink haired kunoichi, then morphed into his own as a child, his arms were split open, the chakra-sound tunnels being visible.

Zaku was a hardened shinobi at the age of seventeen, but the image of him as a young pre-teen, his arms exposed, the pain he had endured for this strength. The amount of dissatisfaction from his father, when he had failed his first mission with these arms.

"I am a worthless experiment. I have disgraced him, I was given strength, so much strength, but I couldn't even handle it. I couldn't control it. I was still weak. I will always be weak in his eyes," his younger, prepubescent voice seemed to repeat within his subconscious.

"Zaku! Wake up!" he heard a distant voice call for him.

" _You have been a disappointment... I give you the strength you desired, but you couldn't perform the simplest of tasks... you have been a waste of my time. I should have left you on the streets to die."_

Sakura smirked, she lifted her head, looking up at the two teammates of his. She will make them pay.

Her mind became blurred, she was having a hard time differentiating if this were truth, or she was in an illusion herself. She kept seeing images, of the sound ninjas being ripped, torn limb from limb, by her own hand. She looked at her hands, and all she could see was blood. Not matter if she tried to rub her hands on her clothes, the blood would not stray.

"What have I done?" she asked herself. She screamed before the entire illusion fell. She saw Dosu and Kin unconscious, and instead of Zaku holding her arms, she held his, _unattached._

She was freaking out. Is she really the monster everyone thinks she is? Why did she have to be? Why did things always end up like this? She just... she just wanted to make a difference. She wanted to protect her teammates, for the satisfaction of knowing she was strong enough to protect them, but like this? Did she have to brutalize people in such a way? She had no recollection of any of it.

"I don't deserve to be a ninja..." she whispered to herself, she had long dropped the foreign-nin's arms. Her fragmented conscious told her to take their scroll, at least they can pass the first trial and get the hell out of the forest and alert the patrol faster.

Suppressing all urges to break down and cry, she searched the unconscious bodies of all members for the scroll, then she picked up both Naruto and Sasuke, running with them over both her shoulders, she cared not about her stamina, but the sheer will and drive to get the fuck out of the forest. Once she had arrived to the tower, she opened both scrolls to see Iruka pop out of nowhere, and then his attention went straight to the two boys she had held over her shoulder.

"Sakura! Are they okay? What happened?"

"We... were attacked... Orochimaru. I, I... I had to protect them." She kept stuttering, her breath feeling cold against her lips, her body was trembling. Then everything went black.

" _I told you that they would pay. They cannot compete with us. We will strike down any foe, we will be invincible, immortal. We will be god!"_

She awoke a day later. She looked to her side and saw a vase of flowers. Hyssop dominating the vase, with a couple violets and a single wallflower front and center. Who would bother giving her flowers? The door suddenly opened, her eyes caught a pair of red. Kurenai smiled lightly.

"It's been a while, Sakura. How are you feeling?" she asked as she sat next to her bed. Sakura turned her head away and looked down. She gripped onto the sheets covering her form.

"How are Naruto and Sasuke? Are they okay?" she asked, ignoring Kurenai's own. She sighed in response.

"They are both fine. Naruto was just exhausted, Sasuke, had to go through some... procedures, but he is now up and discharged. You, however, we have been worried about." Sakura's attention went back to the flowers.

"Did you send these for me?" she asked. To her surprise, Kurenai shook her head.

"I did not. I know that you are not fond of flowers, and have little tolerance for the meanings that they may hold."

"Then who? Why would anyone but you give a damn about me?" Kurenai frowned. Sakura's eyes were fierce, but she knew that what had happened in the forest shook her to her core. She had been in a self-induced coma for the past twenty four hours. She figured that she had been so emotionally spent she needed to rest without interruption.

"Sacrifice, Loyalty, and Faith-fullness in Adversity? What idiot would assume these things of me?" she asked angrily.

Kurenai sighed. She rose from her seat and started walking towards the door. Sakura made no attempt to stop her. She opened the door, then closed it behind herself.

"I told you it was a stupid idea to get those flowers, Kakashi." The copycat-nin said nothing for a moment, until a sigh escaped his lips.

"She not only passed the second trial of the chunin exams alone, but she saved both of her team-mates from Orochimaru. I told her once she was unfit to be a part of my team, and she was not worth saving. She told me she had agreed." Before Kurenai could state her absolute disgust, Kakashi continued.

"She told me she will do as I say, she will protect them. I just... I just didn't think she would take it this seriously. How could I explain to a student that I hated them irrationally?"

Kurenai scoffed, shaking her head. She started walking down the hall of the hospital, leaving Kakashi to his own thoughts.

Kakashi was a prodigy as a child, he was harsh, he was not rattled easily, not easily frightened but much, except the thought that he was going into that room with his student. He summoned any courage and a speck of his pride as offering before walking into the room.

He felt her emerald eyes burn holes through him.

"Ahh, Sakura-chan. You're awake. How are you feeling?"

"I'd be better if these stupid flowers weren't here," she angrily replied. He sighed.

"I want to talk about what happened, Sakura-chan. Are you up for that?" She gripped onto her bedsheets once more.

"Of course, I faced the notorious missing-nin and sannin Orochimaru and somehow lived with both my team-mates. Let me ask, are you wanting to know how long I've been in cahoots with him, or do you want to know how I managed to keep them both alive and face off a squad from the sound country and live with no significant injuries? I must be a spy, after all. I wouldn't be surprised if they've been feeding me poison since I've been here, I'd down the bottle if given the chance. Now let me ask you one last question. Did you send these fucking flowers?"

Connections to Orochimaru, accusations of her being a spy? She had just saved her own team-mates! And they were pointing fingers? At a child?

"I was unaware of your feelings regarding floral arrangements. I was trying to find something suitable to express my feelings of gratitude that you have endured so much for not only the sake of the exam but for your team's well-being. You are, in essence, a hero," he tried to explain, she was not nearly satisfied. She grabbed onto the vase, gripping the base so tightly, it had shattered in her hands.

"I don't want to be a martyr. All I wanted was to be able to protect myself and the ones I cared about, but I can't even do that. Why can't everyone just hate me like Naruto? Why can't I be like Naruto and shrug it off? Why do I have to be so angry? Why can't I feel anything but regret?" The glass shards began digging into her hands, she pressed them in deeper, finally allowing tears to escape.

Before Kakashi could respond, nurses and doctors came running in, ushering him out.

"Why can I protect them when I can't even protect myself?!" he heard her hysterical cries until, he assumed, she was restrained and sedated.

Kakashi felt another presence over his shoulder and saw Naruto standing there silently still. His head was down. Kakashi placed his hand on Naruto's shoulder to grab his attention. Naruto had tears in his eyes.

"She saved our asses, and all people do is accuse of her being a monster, being someone against the village. Why would she bother keeping up with an act for that long? I don't understand why she has to feel the same way."

"People make excuses for their hate, when there is no one left to blame," Kakashi cryptically replied. It was the best he could do with the circumstances provided. He had been unaware of Sakura being under fire as a traitor until she brought it up. He wondered why Sarutobi would allow this to happen, why would he keep turning a blind eye to the madness that seemed to encircle a child? Why would he allow people to treat Naruto and Sakura like vermin, only existing for others to hate and misjudge.

Maybe now, he can finally understand what Kurenai had been telling him. Being told you have so much potential, but everyone always rooting for you to fail. The only person who had tried to give Sakura a fighting chance was not even granted the chance to make Sakura a better person, to refine her skills in a healthy way. No, why would Sarutobi do that, unless...

Unless he wanted her to become this way. But why? ANBU was no joke, but this... seemed extreme, even by root standards in a sense. He wondered if she would have been better off being stripped of all her feelings and sent to Danzo's secret army. That way, she wouldn't have to feel the way she does, she wouldn't have to experience the pain of the isolation her leader had imposed on her, just because she was young and unknowing. She was a child who made a mistake, and no one will ever give her the chance to redeem herself.

And she had accepted that far too long ago, and she has continued to accept it.

" _My dream is to sacrifice myself for the good of the village,"_ her words kept ringing in his ears. He knew it then, but he never understood until now. She wants to die in the name of Konoha, for the hope of finally clearing her name, redeeming all of what happened half her life ago. She would rather die for the good of others, than live in their blinded hate. He had so much resentment from what he had told her several months ago.

She was the best example of what his student should be. Self-sacrificing; perhaps he had judged her harshly because she reminded him so much of himself.

Kakashi then noticed Sasuke walking towards Sakura's room nonchalantly. His hands digging deep into his pockets.

"Ahh, Sasuke. What are you doing here?" Sasuke scoffed.

"I'm just here to see Sakura for a moment. Even if I hate her and everything she is, she saved our asses and my mother raised me better than to ignore someone risking themselves for me."

Kakashi was silent for a moment, Naruto as well shockingly enough.

"I'm afraid Sakura is being...restless at the moment. Perhaps another time would be better?" Kakashi suggested, only for Sakura's high pitched wail to flood the floor.

She was tired, but she knew that she had to finish the exams, she came so far and she will not take being forced to quit after all she had done. That would be unacceptable. Reluctantly, the head medic gave her the clear to finish in the exam.

It was the end of the final day for the second trial, Sakura was glad she had time to rest before the one v one matches.

She was indifferent to hear the rest of the rookie teams had passed as well, it made no difference to her. Her team was fine, meaning she could advance as well, it will be all her from this point on. She had no obligations to save her team-mates now.

"No more distractions," she told herself as she walked into the arena behind her team. Naruto had tried to thank her for "saving their asses back there." she didn't reply and stared on. Sasuke gave her a look of thanks but he said nothing. She did not care if he accepted her as his team-mate now or not, because as soon as these exams were over, she will be thrown into training to be one of the elite.

She will be alone. Like she was meant to be.

The proctor was giving out the rules of the one on one matches, and finally announcing the match-ups. Sakura did not care about whom she'd be facing, but once she heard her name she looked up.

"Haruno Sakura vs Yamanaka Ino." She tilted her head in curiosity. Facing someone in her own village, and someone part of a noble clan. How... _convenient._ She wondered if the match up had been planned from the start, but didn't bother pondering on it further. She looked to her opponent who held striking blue eyes. Her dull emerald pair returned.

"Your match begins now. It will end when either of you admit defeat or I determine the match is over. Begin."

Before Sakura could start weaving her web of genjutsu she heard Ino talking.

"I saw what you did to those Sound ninja. What is wrong with you?" Sakura stared on and started chuckling.

"I did what would keep my team and myself safe. They should have known what they were up against the moment they thought to threaten me," she smugly replied.

The arena was eerily silent.

"You ripped his arms apart! You didn't have to go to those lengths to protect everyone, but you did! You are a monster!" Sakura was wondering if the blonde was trying to provoke her into acting irrationally or if she was merely calling Sakura out on her brutality.

"I did what was called for, if it were you in my place, how would you have reacted? Would you have allowed them to kill your teammates? Kill or be killed, that is the way of Ninja, you best learn it now before you get not only yourself, but your team killed."

Kakashi looked down at the two girls conversing. Sakura was right, but he had not known to the extent of what Sakura did to protect her team. He didn't know what all Sakura had done. They merely told them she was barely alive when she arrived at the tower with the two boys slung on each shoulder.

The crowd began getting restless, calling for them to make a move and stop talking. Ino made the first move and started charging toward Sakura, shuriken between her fingers. She jumped and launched them Sakura's way. Sakura was faster, dodging them, not letting a single one hit. Ino cursed.

"Stand still!" she barked. Unsurprisingly, Sakura managed to keep up with all assaults with speed and grace. It almost looked like a dance.

It was only moments until Ino felt the effects of a genjutsu coming over her being, before she could break it, it would seem like Sakura was showing her inside her own mind.

"What the hell is wrong with you!?" Ino cried out as a dark mass came towards her. The appearance of Sakura frightened her to her core.

Sakura's dark form looked to be laughing.

"Do you want to know what's wrong with me? Do you really want to know?" Ino could no longer speak, she could barely breathe.

Ino felt pain, not on her skin, but within her body. The ache of resentment, self-loathing. Where had this feeling come from? She was casually walking throughout the village, she would see her group of friends, she'd try to run up to say hello, but the moment they turned to look, she saw nothing but pure terror. They ran away with a word.

She heard whispers, constant whispers. She'd turn around to see who it was but they'd turn away from her. What is going on? What kind of illusion was this? Ino tried to break the illusion, but to no avail. How, how could Sakura be so advanced at genjutsu, that a Yamanaka could not manage to break through it? What is Sakura?

Ino went and ran to the flower fields, perhaps, she needed to find Sakura in this illusion for it to break. The whispers kept getting louder and louder, but there was no one around.

" _You killed her. You are a monster. Why should you ever be happy? All you will ever be is a sacrifice. A scapegoat. That is your purpose in this life, nothing more, nothing less. You will protect this village, and you will die for this village. That is the fate you deserve."_

She tripped, face first into the grassy fields. She attempted to pick herself up, through the corner of her eyes she noticed her blonde hair was not blonde, but pink. She grabbed the locks to see closer, she looked down at the clothes she wore.

"Oh god," she whispered. Sakura is having her live her childhood. Ino stumbled to a pond nearby and saw her suspicions were correct. She was no longer a blonde hair, blue eyed child. She was replaced by the lonely green eyed monster she had avoided her entire childhood.

"I'm not a monster! I, I didn't do anything!" Ino cried, she splashed the water in disapproval. Then the water turned red, thickening. She looked at her hands, now covered with the bloody substance.

" _Do you see what's wrong with me? I'm a monster, after all."_

"The battle is over! Let down your genjutsu, or you will be disqualified!" Ino finally heard the proctor announce. She finally saw the world that Sakura had created fall. Only seeing Sakura's seemingly pleased face.

"When you want to mess with a _monster_ , come and see me again." Ino collapsed, her vision blurred, only seeing Sakura being whisked away by her jounin sensei. She closed her eyes, drifting into the darkness.

"You saw what that girl did to the Yamanaka heir! She is a danger to this village! She must be executed, not promoted!" There were roars of protest. Sakura clenched her fists. She had been tamed for this match, yet they still did not think to see her as a shinobi, using whatever means necessary to incapacitate the enemy. What use was she to her village, if they did not trust her? What was she here for?

Kakashi seemed to notice the internal struggle she was having. She didn't care, he was taking an interest in her for stupid reasons. She protected his students when he couldn't. She was a fall girl, he had no need to care for her other than making sure she was alive to take care of the boys when he was not able.

"Sakura-"

"Save it. I know I am not welcome in this village regardless of the good I may bring. I am a tool, only to be used until I am too dull to continue battle. I have no need for friends or allies. They will eventually be gone and I will be alone. It is better this way. I am better alone." She didn't know why she bothered to even tell him that. He will find some way of trying to get her to change her mind, how could she have been so foolish to allow her aggravation with the villagers leak out? Reckless.

To her surprise, Kakashi stayed silent, though he was leading her away from the arena and into the training grounds.

"Why are we here?" she asked suspiciously. "Don't you want to see both Sasuke and Naruto's fights? I am hardly a reason to neglect them."

She then looked over to the stone behind him, she gritted her teeth.

"Some months ago, I was standing here telling you how you were not worthy of being on my team. You were not worthy of being saved. You had even agreed."

The wind blew through the awkward silence, Kakashi sighed.

"I brought you back here to make an amend to that. You are worthy of much more than I gave you credit for. For the prejudice I held against you, the hate I expressed in your presence, you still did what you had set out to do, and kept the promise you had made to me, despite of the feelings you had towards me."

"I would be a terrible shinobi if I allowed my feelings to get in the way of my job," she harshly replied. Kakashi gave her a look, then smiled at her.

"I knew someone who felt the same way," he answered.

"What happened to him?" she inquired.

"He got his team killed and joined ANBU, only becoming the weapon others expected him to be." Sakura was silent then looked at Kakashi knowingly.

"That is, until he was forced to take on a group of stubborn children and groom them to become shinobi in their own rights."

"I'm nothing like you, Kakashi." He chuckled in protest.

"I see now why the Sandaime placed you on a team with me as opposed to Kurenai." She glared at him intensely.

"He wanted me to stop you from going down the same path as I, or perhaps, he wanted me to see myself ANBU through you. He has always opposed my being in it." Kakashi explained.

"Sakura, think about why you do the things you do, do you really want to live a life of solitude? Do you want to live a life full of self-resentment?"

Sakura tilted her head down, looking at the ground. Thinking deeply. What did she want? Did she even want to be a shinobi? Or did she just want to try it because she had been coerced or given the praise she had received? What was her true purpose?

"I don't know what I want," she responded honestly. Her answer seemed to please him enough.

Both Naruto and Sasuke defeated their opponents. She didn't care enough to ask for specifics. Naruto as normal seemed to cling to Sakura even though she was very much distancing herself from the team. Sasuke and her exchanged looks of annoyance before separating.

So apparently, as expected, Kakashi was going to train Sasuke for the second round, then the old pervert sannin is training Naruto, she had no trainer arranged for herself, nor did Kakashi set one up for her. She didn't care, because she knew he wouldn't be able to find someone who would be more suited to her needs than what Kurenai was able to provide.

She should have expected that Kurenai would be unable to train her due to her own team because of "conflicting interests", more like, the clan heads would literally rage if their children's sensei were to train the competition of their children. Much to her relief, Kurenai did leave some discreet notes for her on what she should work on and references to research for her own personal training.

* * *

This is the revised version! Beta'd by kunoichiareboss, thank you for your help! The next part will be coming along shortly! Until next time.

 _ **Miyaka Hana**_


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